Sleeping Beauty: Transition Your Toddler to Her Own Bed

“Don’t let that baby sleep in the bed with you or you’ll never get them out,” many moms warned me when I was pregnant with Zariah. What they did not understand, was that co-sleeping was a beautiful experience for me. It allowed me to bond with my baby, experiencing and witnessing their most innocent sleep and it made nursing at night a heck of a lot easier.

What I did not understand, however… was that they were right.

Parenting is not always joyful and parents will experience their own set of challenges. For my husband and I, we experience a new set of challenges as our daughter reaches milestones. While it is a daily workout to keep her safe, we struggle with empowering her to sleep in her own bed. A place she does not recognize since our bed has been hers for so long.

How old is your baby and/or child? Do you feel that it is time for them to enjoy their sleep in their own bed? If you do, then that’s great! Keep reading and you will find some practical tips that will help your overcome your challenges.

My child is 15 months old and sleeping with her is becoming more and more uncomfortable. Either she is tucked in under my back (which is super unsafe) or she is kicking her daddy in the face (that’s actually funny to watch). Either way, she needs her own space and she has own room with her own bed. She just needs to use it.

Before writing this post, I would say that we tried a dozen times or more to get her to fall asleep in her own bed. She either would fall asleep in her own bed and awake in a few hours (which means she slept the rest of the night in our bed) or she would cry excessively to the point that we gave in and allowed her to sleep in our bed.

Since, I couldn’t afford for a baby sleep specialist (they exist) to make recommendations about what I should do…I took it upon myself to figure this damn thing out. How do I get my baby to fall asleep in her own bed when she has been co-sleeping for so long?

“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” –Colin Powell

What is wrong with the picture?

The first thing I set off to do was figure out what I was doing wrong.

Well first, my kid goes to bed when I go to bed around midnight or later….probably a problem.

On the first day, I was intentional. Nevertheless, I knew that I needed more than intention. What would help her adopt this habit was going to depend on my consistency. So here is a quick snapshot of our routine.

We finish up with dinner around 8:30 PM and then we start getting ready for bath time. Bath time is fun. My daughter loves playing with her water shark and rubber duckies. I love the person who invented bath toys. Out of the tub and into PJs she goes.

Next, we read some of Zariah’s favorite books. I allow her the opportunity to pick 2 or 3 from her collection for story time. We will typically go through each of the books she picks a couple of times. She enjoys flipping the pages faster than the story can be read.   After story time, I am unorthodox in that I allow my kid to enjoy quiet play rather than put her directly in her bed.

Toddlers tend to have a lot of energy. Well…correction, my kid has a lot of energy. I am not sure whom she got it from because neither her mama nor her daddy have it. Are we the only parents with a toddler that has so much energy they could jump off the walls if gravity would allow it?

So, deep down I feel that there is still some residual energy that needs to be expended. Therefore, I created the concept of quiet play. During this time, we like to dim the lights or we turn on her night light. I do this to try and stimulate her melatonin production. Melatonin is a hormone produced by your body and its levels increase within your blood when it is nighttime. It is responsible for helping you maintain your sleep-wake cycle. So, when you feel sleepy at night, melatonin is a key hormone that plays a part in that response.

Then we allow her to explore her room for few minutes before being placed in bed. You can go directly from story time into quiet play. Or, you could place your child in the bed and see if they fall right off to sleep or get up to enjoy quiet play. After about 10 minutes, we place her in her bed and share our exchange of good nights.

But, there’s more…

She did not fall asleep. All this work to create a bedtime routine and she DID NOT FALL ASLEEP.  She cried, and she continued to cry on and off for the next 2 hours. I remember that I kept saying, “Maybe she is not ready?” However, the results had nothing to do with her and had everything to do with my ignorance on what to expect.

So, if you are transitioning your toddler from your bed to their bed, keep in mind the following:

• This is a difficult transition for your toddler. They are not going to adapt the idea of sleeping alone easily. There will be tears and it may take time for your little one to be comfortable with their new sleeping environment (took our child a week or so).
• It may help if you sleep with your toddler in their bed the first few weeks. You’ve always been right there. Help them know it is okay to sleep in their big kid bed, by sharing the experience with them. I used to sleep in Zariah’s bed for the first 10-15 minutes until she fell asleep. Then, I would retreat to my own sleeping quarters.
• Make sure your toddler is comfortable.  A toddler that is too hot or too cold will not sleep well through the night. Adjust the temperature of their room or the amount of clothing if necessary. Also, allow them to nap in their own bed, so that they get used to it. My last tip would be to make sure that baby is dry. Many of your favorite brands have overnight diapers that will help you baby sleep better throughout the night.
• Some toddlers like nursery rhymes and music before bedtime. Play soft and soothing music for your toddler to fall asleep to. This may mean that you will be getting your Mariah Carey on. My child did not like for me to play recordings and preferred to fall asleep to her mama’s sweet tunes.

Did you have a routine that worked for your toddler? Share with us your best tips.